We have known The Plumber since he was 3, and for 15 years he and his family have wandered in and out of our lives.
Last month The Plumber packed his old ute with a swag, a fishing rod and the tools of his trade, and drove 1200km to see us.
He is not the first teenager to visit Brian and I. In fact we have friends who have threatened to send their kids to us as some sort of rural/agricultural initiation rite.
Should you be considering consigning your offspring to us, or should you be like The Plumber and arrive voluntarily, this is some of what can be expected:
Undertake bobcat instruction from Farmer Col
Muster and draft sheep and then load sheep onto trucks. Wonder why Brian is giving you more instructions than the dogs – and your very own whistle.
Fix laundry taps, and kitchen taps, and bathroom taps, and put in an in-line filter, because we don’t see many tradesmen out here and when we do we like to make use of them.
Fix floodgates over creek, which Mandy fixed only last week before 4 inches of rain took that fence to Goondiwindi.
Waterski on Copeton Dam when it has rained and it is too wet to move on Rocky Springs. Show off and get up on first attempt.
Set up new electric fence unit, because the flood that took the fence also destroyed the last new electric fence unit – before it was even paid for.
Load bales of hay as the sun rises. Load 150 bales in two days.
And enjoy it
Tie bales of hay to truck,
So they don’t look like this as Brian is nearly home
Ride quad-bike around property
Wear your Akubra to the local races, get given a free entry ticket by Kerry who then takes money off you to fund Coolatai‘s betting pool. Double your money and enjoy a pizza with Brian back at the pub (Mandy does not enjoy Kung-Fu chicken pizzas).
Drench Manfred while he is sitting under a tree in the house-yard
Pander to Bonnie who believes that is the only reason you have come here
Fish from a canoe on the Severn River. Get a bite from a big fish.
Exercise dog pack, and keep girl kelpie safe from horny males
Drive cattle truck, remove crate and then shovel cow-shit off the deck
And at the end of the day brag about that fish that got away